Things that happen during NCT classes:

Via the hilarious Upfront Mama: 

1. You spend your first NCT eyeing all the couples in your group and deciding who you reckon you will and won't end up being with friends with and who you have the most in common with. When you get home, you and your husband discuss this at great length.

2. There's always one Mum to be who is really confident about the whole birth thing and gives loads of advice to the others who are slightly in awe of her.

3. There's another Mum to be who looks like she might faint whenever the word "after-birth" or "contraction" is used. You feel a bit sorry for her.

4. The men all start bantering and talking about football. They plan to go the pub and have regular boy meet ups. This rarely happens.

5. Everyone tries to get the woman who takes the group to tell her birth story. She never does but always gives a slight grimace at the mention of it. Later on at the pub, you all wonder whether she had a terrible experience. This makes you feel nervous.

6. The breast-feeding expert is often a little strange and smells a bit musty. She refuses to talk about bottle feeding and makes out that your baby will instantly crawl to your milk-filled boob and feed without a problem. This is a lie.

7. Someone usually farts

8. Someone is usually sick

9. All the women need to pee at the same time

10. You laugh nervously as you try and change the freaky doll's nappy. The boys are often much better at this than the girls.

11. At the last class you make a Whatsapp group with the women in your group. You're unsure if you'll ever see any of them again.

12. Fast forward a few weeks/ months/ years and you feel like you've known these women all your life and they'll know more about the state of your vagina, breasts and mind than anyone else.

Thank F!%* for my NCT friends